Smells like bubblegum ice cream...

...I am so dissapointed of myself....I tried positivism for a while, but it is just not my cup of tea. The test went not as good as I would have expected, and it is a real shame, because I started preparing for it about a month ago. It is just so frustrating when your best is just not good enough. I know I am my harshest critic, but if I don't try to stay focused and on track, nobody is going to do it for me. To make matters worse, as if I was not dispirited enough already, my best friend, who also happens to be my crush since I was 13, completely foresook me today, and I have the feeling it will not be the last time...I imagine being with me is actually as boring and awkward as I imagine (even if you have known me for five years) and he would much sooner spend his recess with his beautiful, talkative, airheaded classmates(whom he sees for six hours a day anyway), than with me, even though he knows(well, at least, I hope so) Than I would let myself be eviscerated alive to save his life was I ever asked to. However, love is a dreadfully mysterious thing, and I will probably run mad before I can fully comprenhend why is it that no one I love loves me back just as much as I love them. This has worsened by depression severly this week, I must be careful or else the razor will come out to play once more. On a lighter note, something in the bus today smelled like bubblegum ice cream, and I have been craving it since...It rained again today...the weather would be perfect if it was not so warm and stuffy, but if I have learned something this week, it is that


you can't always get what you want.

(as a matter of fact, I almost never can.)


XoXo. Image by Carley Smith