Spellbound

Well, hello again! I guess you could say I've sort of...come back from the grave...

It's been almost a year since my last entry, so I have some explaining to do. Nothing extraordinary happened or anything, I just got absorbed by everything I had to do to graduate and get into university, which I did(yay me!).

I actually got into both I applied to, and got a rather good result on the admittance test for the most prestigious one (665/800), which went sadly to waste because they didn't offer the course I wanted to major in: International Relations.

So, that meant bye to my beloved Universidad de Costa Rica, and hello to Universidad Nacional... I must admit I was a bit sad, since most of my friends would be attending the other one, but I was not going to study some random thing I didn't want and be miserable the rest of my life in a job I didn't like just to be with them. And I am glad I took that decision now, because I've been hearing they don't talk to each other all that much anyway...it's a big campus, they rarely see each other.

The first semester went by in a flash, this university is very different from the other one (UCR, from now on)... people are always busy with something, they come to class early, and they leave as soon as they finish...almost nobody stays to chat or...sleep on the grass or...eat, like a normal student would. It almost doesn't feel like an uni, to be honest. I don't like it much.

I didn't see anyone except for two of my closest friends, and him-the latter a couple of times, at most-, and felt utterly lonely, but I didn't try too hard to find some new company either. Meeting new people terrifies me. I cannot talk to strangers, I freeze up.

However, I did manage to make five friends that I cherish greatly, and they have helped me a lot getting trough the semester. I got some of the highest grades of my life-*cof cof* three straight tens and a 9.5- and finally got a much-deserved break.

The break was hell, depression hit me mercilessly as always, nobody remembered I existed, let's not talk about that.

This semester has been rather uneventful, uni-wise, but my personal life, oh boy, have things taken an unexpected turn, or what?

I-and this is still very hard for my to believe, let alone type with a straight face- have a boyfriend. Yes, you read correctly. No, I don't think I deserve it, I keep feeling this day will be the last day, and that it's too good to be true. He might have suffered a blow to the head or something, but I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts. Carpe diem.

It's nothing exclusive, or anything, he can fuck whoever he wants as long as he tells me, and so can I...which reminds me, I also have a kissing-doll. And I got my first kiss from him, and tipped the velvet for the first time with her. I can't wait to see what Monsieur will think about that.

As you might have inferred, I am happier than usual, but ironically enough, my cutting urges have worsened . Go figure. I give in about once a week, it keeps my sanity in check.

This is getting ridiculously long, so I'll just finish with this weeks Saturday Poem Society's seventh poem:

V.TV Static
01-Apr 21:36

We become
immersed in TV
static;
lose the channel,
break the bonds.
Entomb yourself in
celebrity.
A true friend is
one that tells you
to give up.
Commercialized
death;
spread your insides
across the latest
cereal.
Let the children
feed off your
spun-sugar sweetness,
lacking their
common sense,
until it rots their
teeth.

~¶~

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