Remember me (?) (FS12)

Well how about that...? He called me. For the first time in, what? Three, four months? And what did he say? 


Nothing. I just sat there listening to background music and laughter until I hung up.


 It was a mistake. He didn't mean to dial my number. I know where he is, I read about it on that facebook of his. He's at a bar. He's having fun, probably the furthest thing from his mind right now is me.


And yet, when I saw his name on my cell phone screen, I felt a subtle tinge of joy.


Stupid. That's what I am.


Song of the day...


The Birthday Massacre- Remember Me


Background Info:


The Birthday Massacre (often identified using the abbreviation TBM) is a synthrock band, based in Toronto, Canada. The band formed in 1999, known then as Imagica. This name was borrowed from the novel Imajica by Clive Barker.The group originated in London, Ontario, under the name Imagica with members using pseudonyms and nicknames instead of their birth names.Members include Chibi, Rainbow, Falcore, Rhim, Owen and Nate Manor. The founding members state that neither had been in any previous bands and have expressed in multiple interviews that the group formed naturally as a result of spending time together as friends.


Lyrics:

It's safe to say I'm lonely now

A place called home 

Is just a memory away

I know I've done this all before

A thousand silent voices 

Begging me to stay

Apologies all left unsaid

Secrets better left unspoken

Dreams are slowly put to bed

Rumors stirred and reawoken

If I try to get away

How long until I'm free?

And if I don't come back here

Will you remember me?

It's safe to say there's nothing now

It's all so quiet but I 

Can't forget the sound

A thousand voices call my name

A thousand hands that 

Pull me back down to the ground

I turn away from what you are

Denying all that you have given

I find a place that's safe and far

In time all will be forgiven

If I try to get away

How long until I'm free?

And if I don't come back here

Will you remember me?


My Interpretation: To me this song is about both voluntarily and involuntarily going to a place where others can't reach you every time things get difficult-figuratively, obviously, like getting lost in your own mind- and wondering if people would miss you or even notice you're gone.

Video:

Well, you know what to do,down there.

Dull Days

Well, a long time has elapsed again since my last post, but not much has passed. I started taking Prozac, currently on day 117 now. I'm still insomniac... what else... 
I can no longer say I'll be a virgin suicide-giggle- but we both agree to keep it strictly casual. Feelings are mostly useless, after all.


University is okay so far but from now on I'm not sure because my depression is interfering with my reading capacity, I space out frequently and fall asleep during the day. Rather lonely lately as well, no one has sought me out so I have pay back in kind.


The weather right now is hot and humid, keeping me away from my beloved cardigans and messing up my hair in ways I never even thought possible.


French is going ok, ni très bien ni très mal...


And I tried weed for the first time about a month ago. Interesting but not as strong as I expected it to be. Moving on to lsd soon.


And that has been my life so far. For a more accurate summary:

Comments, hate, whatever, down there v